TURN
A DIFFICULT COLLEAGUE INTO A WORKPLACE ALLY
Gossipy,
spiteful fellow workers can ruin any job, but think laterally
and turn the situation to your advantage. By Barbara
McCarthy.
| NEWSPAPER
and magazine gossip columns survive on a diet of
titbits about celebrities in the television, film
and pop music worlds, but backbiting and bickering
is not the sole preserve of the rich and famous.
It is just as prevalent in the corporate world.
Carly
Fiorina, the former boss of Hewlett-Packard, would
have been the subject of plenty of high-level industry
bitching before taking her $21m (€16.1m) exit
package in a flurry of headlines earlier this month.
“Ding-dong the witch is dead”
was the message contained in one company e-mail
following her departure, according to a report in
Business Week magazine.
The
disease, however, can be found at all levels in
the workplace. “You can’t choose your
work colleagues, so it comes as no surprise that
most of us don’t get on with everyone at the
office,” said Colette Clail, who runs the
Career Coach, a Dublin-based company which specialises
in guiding and supporting people who have lost their
jobs.
So
what happens when executives are forced to work
side by side with somebody they don’t particularly
like but with whom they are still expected to get
good results? “It happens all the time. The
key is managing the situation,” said Clail,
who adds it is important to focus on the task at
hand rather than the person.
“The
fact that you have a common goal is already a good
start,” said Heike Breuel, a managing psychologist
at Pearn Kandola, the specialist occupational psychology
practice. “Try to approach the person with
a fresh curiosity and opportunity,” she said.
“Remember that this person can have a great
creative input and a completely different perspective.
Focus on shared values and remember that you don’t
have to socialise with this person or spend the
rest of your life with them.” |
Fiorina was the target for high-level
industrial bitching at HP before taking her €16m
pay-off.
|
Carol Ann Casey, a human
resource consultant and the managing director of CA Consulting,
advises people to leave their own ego at the door. “Personal
differences of opinion are very often caused by stubbornness
and egotistical one-upmanship,” she said, adding
that these issues need to be addressed openly before people
start working on a project together. “Say to your
colleague that you are on this project together and to
meet your aggregate objectives you need to work as a team,
that you want to put your differences aside and you relish
the challenge.” Projects do not work unless there
is commitment, performance and prioritisation of matters,
says Casey. Both parties must focus on team success rather
than personal glory, but you can also take discrete steps
which mean that you are not in each other’s path
all the time, such as recruiting another person as a buffer,
adds Clail.
Should things come to
a head, however, resist the temptation to drag the third
party into it and expect them to take sides. Clail says
it is more important to state your view clearly and without
emotion. “Listen to the other person’s point
of view and try to see things from their perspective,”
she said. Focus on their good points rather than the things
you dislike about them and look for opportunities to compromise
or negotiate. “You may also need to apologise if
necessary,” said Clail.
If that is the case,
then it may be worthwhile to make sure the apology is
heartfelt, otherwise it may have the opposite effect to
that intended. It is also important to be self-aware in
these situations, says John Deely, an occupational psychologist
with Pinpoint: “If you are self-critical you will
react better to feedback; if you are not as hard on yourself,
you will find criticism hard to take.” Deely has
conducted a study using 360-degree feedback, in which
perspectives from a variety of views are collected, assembling
data relating to the topic from more than 300 European
executives. “This involves ratings of an individual
by themselves, their colleagues, direct reports, bosses
and, clients occasionally,” he said. “Self-awareness
was defined by how close one’s own rating was to
how everyone else saw them.” Those who were more
self-aware got higher overall performance ratings.
If the person you are
dealing with is still getting under your skin, it may
be worthwhile to identify the finer points of why you
do not get on. “Is it because they are undermining
you, not pulling their weight, being arrogant, or is it
simply because of a chemical reaction whereby you can’t
be in the same room with that person?” said Rowan
Manahan, MD of Fortify Services, the career management
and outplacement firm. Clarify it, get it out of your
head and write down exactly what it is you dislike. “Study
their behavioural patterns and be extremely specific.”
Record every exchange
that takes place in as much detail as you can in order
to find out where the problem lies. “That includes
writing down how you responded, how they responded and
who lost their cool in any given situation and over exactly
what ...” If you are the one who gets an uncontrollable
feeling of rage and the other person does not suffer from
sleepless nights then you are allowing that other person
to exert power over you. If things get to this stage then
you may want to get some guidance from a mentor or a career
adviser. Alternatively, you may want to inform HR or another
mediator.
“Deal with the
problem as if it is a grievance and follow the company’s
grievance procedure,” said Casey. “Working
with a difficult person is a source of stress and can
make your job hell on earth, so try to do whatever it
takes to resolve the situation.” It may be hard,
but try not to let a bad situation get to you. “Communicate,
communicate, communicate, and always think of the big
picture,” said Casey.
original article here
