TURN
A DIFFICULT COLLEAGUE INTO A WORKPLACE ALLY
Gossipy,
spiteful fellow workers can ruin
any job, but think laterally and turn the situation to your
advantage. By Barbara McCarthy.
| NEWSPAPER
and magazine gossip columns survive on a diet of titbits
about celebrities in the television, film and pop
music worlds, but backbiting and bickering is not
the sole preserve of the rich and famous. It is just
as prevalent in the corporate world.
Carly
Fiorina, the former boss of Hewlett-Packard, would
have been the subject of plenty of high-level industry
bitching before taking her $21m (€16.1m) exit
package in a flurry of headlines earlier this month.
“Ding-dong the witch is dead”
was the message contained in one company e-mail following
her departure, according to a report in Business Week
magazine.
The
disease, however, can be found at all levels in the
workplace. “You can’t choose your work
colleagues, so it comes as no surprise that most of
us don’t get on with everyone at the office,”
said Colette Clail, who runs the Career Coach, a Dublin-based
company which specialises in guiding and supporting
people who have lost their jobs.
So
what happens when executives are forced to work side
by side with somebody they don’t particularly
like but with whom they are still expected to get
good results? “It happens all the time. The
key is managing the situation,” said Clail,
who adds it is important to focus on the task at hand
rather than the person. |
Fiorina was the target for high-level
industrial bitching at HP before taking her €16m
pay-off.
|
“The
fact that you have a common goal is already a good start,”
said Heike Breuel, a managing psychologist at Pearn Kandola,
the specialist occupational psychology practice. “Try
to approach the person with a fresh curiosity and opportunity,”
she said. “Remember that this person can have a great
creative input and a completely different perspective. Focus
on shared values and remember that you don’t have
to socialise with this person or spend the rest of your
life with them.”
Carol
Ann Casey, a human resource consultant and the managing
director of CA Consulting, advises people to leave their
own ego at the door. “Personal differences of opinion
are very often caused by stubbornness and egotistical one-upmanship,”
she said, adding that these issues need to be addressed
openly before people start working on a project together.
“Say to your colleague that you are on this project
together and to meet your aggregate objectives you need
to work as a team, that you want to put your differences
aside and you relish the challenge.” Projects do not
work unless there is commitment, performance and prioritisation
of matters, says Casey. Both parties must focus on team
success rather than personal glory, but you can also take
discrete steps which mean that you are not in each other’s
path all the time, such as recruiting another person as
a buffer, adds Clail.
Should
things come to a head, however, resist the temptation to
drag the third party into it and expect them to take sides.
Clail says it is more important to state your view clearly
and without emotion. “Listen to the other person’s
point of view and try to see things from their perspective,”
she said. Focus on their good points rather than the things
you dislike about them and look for opportunities to compromise
or negotiate. “You may also need to apologise if necessary,”
said Clail.
If
that is the case, then it may be worthwhile to make sure
the apology is heartfelt, otherwise it may have the opposite
effect to that intended. It is also important to be self-aware
in these situations, says John Deely, an occupational psychologist
with Pinpoint: “If you are self-critical you will
react better to feedback; if you are not as hard on yourself,
you will find criticism hard to take.” Deely has conducted
a study using 360-degree feedback, in which perspectives
from a variety of views are collected, assembling data relating
to the topic from more than 300 European executives. “This
involves ratings of an individual by themselves, their colleagues,
direct reports, bosses and, clients occasionally,”
he said. “Self-awareness was defined by how close
one’s own rating was to how everyone else saw them.”
Those who were more self-aware got higher overall performance
ratings.
If
the person you are dealing with is still getting under your
skin, it may be worthwhile to identify the finer points
of why you do not get on. “Is it because they are
undermining you, not pulling their weight, being arrogant,
or is it simply because of a chemical reaction whereby you
can’t be in the same room with that person?”
said Rowan Manahan, MD of Fortify Services, the career management
and outplacement firm. Clarify it, get it out of your head
and write down exactly what it is you dislike. “Study
their behavioural patterns and be extremely specific.”
Record
every exchange that takes place in as much detail as you
can in order to find out where the problem lies. “That
includes writing down how you responded, how they responded
and who lost their cool in any given situation and over
exactly what ...” If you are the one who gets an uncontrollable
feeling of rage and the other person does not suffer from
sleepless nights then you are allowing that other person
to exert power over you. If things get to this stage then
you may want to get some guidance from a mentor or a career
adviser. Alternatively, you may want to inform HR or another
mediator.
“Deal
with the problem as if it is a grievance and follow the
company’s grievance procedure,” said Casey.
“Working with a difficult person is a source of stress
and can make your job hell on earth, so try to do whatever
it takes to resolve the situation.” It may be hard,
but try not to let a bad situation get to you. “Communicate,
communicate, communicate, and always think of the big picture,”
said Casey.
original
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